And I looked in the mirror and thought, “Where have I gone?”
I didn’t recognise myself
My face didn’t look like me
I looked confused and lost
Where were my bright sparkly eyes
Cheekbones
Health?
And my clothes…
What was I wearing?
Why would I wear those pieces together?
Had I really put on that much weight?
I felt shame
And disappointment
Is this the way we age?
Everything seemed to be ok
I was jogging along quite nicely
Then in a matter of months
I don’t recognise myself anymore.
I wonder if you can recognise yourself here?
One minute your were cruising along the highway of life and everything was ok. Life was good.
And you felt good about yourself. You’re healthy, you enjoy life.
And then, and it seems to happen out of the blue, an abrupt change.
You don’t look like yourself.
You don’t feel like yourself.
You don’t feel good in your clothes
You don’t look good in your clothes.
What you don’t realise is you’re going to need to adapt your style at a different age.
How life changes unexpectedly
Other things have happened too. You can’t eat what you once ate, two glasses of wine give you a hangover. Your hands are puffy. You’re tired. You need to exercise just to feel better, to feel normal.
And the thing is, you don’t know how to get back,
How to get back to that woman you were just a few minutes ago.
All the rules get thrown out
It also feels like all the rules you once had that helped you live a good life and look great have been through out of the window. Once you looked good in your clothes. Now you look dowdy at worst, dull at best.
And it’s a bit of a shock. You’ve always prided yourself on being well turned out, of turning up to each and every occasion dressed for the part, enjoying what you are wearing and excited about being out and about with friends and family.
I’d rather not go out
Now, you’d rather not go out.
It seems like too much. You don’t know what to wear, don’t feel happy in yourself and want to hide. Why would you want to go out.
Is this how it’s going to be now?
And then you think,
Is this how it’s going to be now? Is this what happens in life that no-one tells you about until you get there? All those women who have put a brave face on it over the years and never said anything to you. How do they cope? Or is it just part of the general decline of life. And you thought you had avoided it. But now, you’ve just gone and fallen right in it.
If this is how you are thinking then you are not alone.
And I totally understand.
Getting stopped in your tracks
As women we go through so many changes in our lives like babies, periods and menopause which have a significant effect on our bodies and our mental health and overall wellbeing.
These changes have an uncanny knack for stopping us in our tracks. And this can be really disconcerting.
Finding your way out
And it can be hard to find the way out. It’s like a maze. Lots of dead ends.
But there is a way out.
Which will take you onwards and upwards and into something new.
Which is a relief.
Being stuck is an awful feeling.
And finding a way out is such a great feeling. A relief. Joy.
And the good news is that the way out does not involve shaming yourself, berating yourself, doubting yourself, forcing yourself to do exercises you hate (like me playing netball at school eugh) or proving that you’re ‘worthy’ enough.
Changing to stay the same
Things change. You change. We change to stay the same.
Where you find yourself now, whatever stage of life, is your new ‘now’. There isn’t a going back.
Learning to embrace the new is a skill. And skills can be taught.
So don’t reject or resent where you find yourself now.
There is no going back. But you can embrace the new. And it’s easier than you think.
How to find your way out, adapt your style, and live a full life
Finding your way out, learning how to adapt your style, reconnecting with the you that seems buried very deep down inside of you and taking it forward into a new phase of you are all made possible when you journal.
Yes. Journal.
What did you think I was going to say? Anti-depressants?
No, not anti-depressants. Although if you need them, then take them. There’s no shame there. Get well and be well.
The power of journaling
Journaling is your tool to find your way out and back to you.
15 minutes to yourself each morning. Even 5 minutes will do.
Do I really think journaling can help you?
Yes I do.
Not only do I think that journaling will help you but I think you will discover so much more about yourself that you won’t recognise yourself.
In a good way.
Like being able to adapt your style at a different age. And not resent it.
How would that feel? Actually not recognising yourself because you feel so good about yourself, not because you feel so bad about yourself.
That would be a game changer.
Personal lifestyle plus journaling equals Wardrobe Journaling
I coined the phrase Wardrobe Journaling to describe the specific kind of journaling which is to do with your lifestyle and your clothes. It is journaling about your wardrobe: what’s in there, what’s not in there, the last time you went in there, how you can’t get in there because everything is stuffed in, your raid and grab approach to your wardrobe. Everything.
It gets all the thoughts you’ve got out on paper.
Then you examine them.
And then you put back the thoughts you want to keep and discard the ones which no longer serve you.
Adapt your style at each different age
Wherever you are right now, in whatever season of life, if you’re a woman you’re going to go through some sort of change at some point in the near or mid distance future.
Journaling yourself through that process is going to help.
More than help, it’s going to show you a better way.
You’re going to be able to adapt your style at each different age you find yourself.
And discover a new version of yourself.
You’ll be able to say a fond farewell to the woman you were yesterday
And fully embrace the woman you are today.
Wardrobe Journaling
Wardrobe Journaling is our signature journaling course for personal style. It takes you one a journey of self understanding, or learning to understand yourself better. You learn more about yourself, accept where you are today and create the style version of you that exactly suits your life right now.
Wardrobe Journaling is the bridge between yesterday and tomorrow.
It’s depressing and confusing to be stuck between the two. The Wardrobe Journaling course takes you from that place of not recognising yourself because everything has changed, to be able to embrace where you are right now. And create something really spectacular.
There is no reason at all to think that your best days are behind you. How do you know that? You don’t. What if your best days, your best style days, your best days of being connected with yourself and living an authentic life are actually ahead of you?
But because you are confused by the changes that are happening you can’t see that?
Wardrobe Journaling will help you see the confusion for what it is. Confusing and irrelevant to the life that you could lead. If only you could cross the bridge.
Would you like to know more?
Would you like to take a toe dip into journaling and how it can help you develop a beautiful style for yourself at any age. Come and toe dip with us here.
While you’re here, why not sign up to be informed the next time the doors to Wardrobe Journaling open?
We hope you have enjoyed this post. We really want to encourage you that whatever age you are at and however confusing and at times depressing it may feel, that there is more to come. And we want to help you get there.
You might also like to read:
I don’t have a thing to wear! How to dress well when you don’t know how
How to journal your way to the best-dressed list
FAQs
I know you might have questions so here are some that are frequently asked:
Q: What should I consider before making a style change?
A: Definitely consider how you are feeling and how you want to feel. The change you really want to make is always on the inside ie in your mind. The result of how you want to change is one the outside ie your clothes. Of course sometimes it can work the other way round – you put on a certain dress and it instantly transforms you into how you want to feel and look. But for the most part if you want to make a style change, think first how you want to feel, is it strong, empowered, childlike, womanly, grown-up, authoritarian, beautiful? And then take it from there.
Q: Do you have any tips on how to adapt your communication style?
A: Visually we are always communicating, so if you want to adapt your visual communication style then ask yourself how you want to change. Do you want to be more forthright, or less forthright? This will affect how you want to look. If you want your communication style to be open, approachable and friendly then you will wear clothes that reflect that. If you want the way that you communicate verbally to align with your visual appearance, then use the same questions on yourself: How are you communicating now? How do you want to communicate?
Q: Is it easy to learn how to style?
A: Yes, and we make it really easy for you at Wardrobe Journaling, through the use of your journal to help design your style life as well as through our sister website, Working Frocks, where we help you develop your own style and create your own visual identity.
Q: When should you renovate your style? Should I be renovating mine now?
A: There is no specific timeline for renovating your style. This blog post talks about how your style probably needs to change as you age but this will be different for everyone. Major life changes are a good time for renovating your style. Additionally, when you want to change something in your life you can change your style in advance. Trigger the change you want to see in your life by changing your style first!