I was standing with all these women,
Peers of mine, and all I could think was,
“Why are they so well dressed and I’m so shabby?”
Are you embarrassed by what you wear?
In a group of peers do you feel like the poor relation?
Do you want to dress better but don’t know how?
If yes, you are definitely not on your own.
Maybe you’ve just had your head down, getting on with the hard things of life, the career, the family, the paying of the bills.
And you look up and there are all these well groomed, stylish women. Where did they come from?
They look so polished and glossy and fluid.
And you look hairy and fluffy and chunky.
How do they know what to wear? Is it a secret code? *
But then did you wonder where you could go to learn how to wear clothes like them.
Is it something you could learn?
Did you think “What would it take for me to dress like them?” and “There’s no way I could dress like that.” at the same time?
How do women like that look so good? All the time.
The answer may surprise you.
The answer is, “They think differently.”
Well dressed women think differently
Yes you read that right. Well dressed women think differently to you or I scurrying around trying to find tights without ladders, hems that don’t need stitching and shoes that don’t need reheeling.
How do well dressed women think differently?
Well dressed women think differently for this reason:
They think they deserve to look good.
Well dressed women are confident.
Confidence affects their thoughts. They’re more self-assured, they have a positive outlook and the next time they are meeting friends for drinks they will walk into the bar like the world is at their feet.
How is it going for you?
Well dressed women pay attention to detail
Women who prioritise their appearance pay attention to detail.
Coco Chanel apparently said:
“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.”
Coco Chanel
Their grooming, accessories and clothing choices are chosen with meticulous detail.
That attention to detail spills out into all other aspects of their lives which tend to be organised and planned.
How is your attention to detail?
Well dressed women use their appearance as a form of self expression
Well-dressed women use their fashion sense to convey their personality, individuality and/or status. They see their style choices as an extension of their character.
In other words they haven’t lost sight of themselves.
They are all in on themselves, invested in themselves, creating themselves.
Are you creating yourself too? Are you all in on yourself?
And if not, how will you develop that ability to create yourself and that confidence to go all in on yourself?
Being confident, paying attention to the details of your life and being full engaged in the self expression of you are all habits which need to be nurtured and developed.
How do you nurture the habits you need to be a well-dressed woman
The answer is much easier than you might imagine.
The answer lies in the simple journal. You, your journal and a pen.
That is what will take you from feeling like you do right now:
Knowing you’d like to be a glossier version of you,
Knowing that that woman is just beneath the surface waiting to come out,
But not quite being able to connect to her and bring her out.
How will journaling help me be better dressed?
Journaling will help you be better dressed, be really well dressed for this simple reason.
Journaling gets you in touch with yourself,
with your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs.
Uncovering your thoughts is the start of a beautiful journey of self-realisation.
And the way we take care of your thoughts is to acknowledge them and then to start to think thoughts that encourage us and give us confidence.
Journaling will help you think differently
You can only change what you can identify, and you can only identify what you are aware of. So how will you think differently about yourself if you don’t know how?
All those negative scripts that we have running in the back of our minds on automatic looping are not serving us. But if you don’t realise that you are thinking them, how will you stop and think something else.
So journaling, and specifically wardrobe journaling, will help you think differently.
Journaling will help your confidence
What is confidence? I like this definition
Confidence is faith in yourself to get the job done.
Sarah Banks
You could be confident in one area of your life but unconfident in another.
You could be completely comfortable addressing a room of 1000 people
But quake at the knees at the thoughts of finding something to wear for a black tie event.
You could be completely at home with all kinds of executive challenges.
But have no idea what to wear to a drinks party. Like the scenario at the start of the blog post. You walk into a room and everyone else looks amazing and you wonder how they did it.
Wardrobe Journaling specifically, but any form of directed journaling generally, will direct you to answer questions that will help you develop confidence.
Journaling will help you pay attention to detail
Journaling will help you to pay attention to detail because journaling helps you to pay attention.
Journaling gives you the gorgeous breathing space to notice things.
It gives you the time to reflect and observe.
Rushing stops us experiencing.
That’s an odd thing to say because you’d think that if you rushed you could pack more in and experience more.
But that’s not true.
Rushing takes away the experience of the thing and replaces it with the experience of rushing.
So rushing stops us experiencing life.
Many of us are afraid of life. We want or need to contain it, control it, turn it into a todo list, account for it. But you can’t. It’s like a river. It just rolls on.
So if you stop. And take time. And are quiet and still for just one moment,
and ask yourself what you really think about yourself, your life and your clothes: the details of what you wear, what you would like to wear, what you actually like, what you really don’t like.
You might be surprised by the answer.
But you need to get there first.
Slow down. Observe. Make a note.
Then you are really experiencing ‘being’.
The devil is not in the detail. Life is in the detail.
How journaling will help your self expression
We all have the need for self expression. For many of us that need is well and truly pushed down, hidden, door locked key thrown away.
Self expression can be an ‘inconvenience’ when you need to look after other people, get on at work, earn money and generally be a responsible adult.
But self expression is a vital part of your life.
Don’t supress it.
Many women find it hard to come back to self expression. Journaling is great for that. It really helps you open back up to yourself and discover how you want to express yourself in this world.
Many times only subtle adjustments are needed with self expression that will take you from feeling repressed, to open and self expressing and feeling amazing because you are in touch with yourself.
Self expression is a form of knowing yourself. Come back to knowing yourself with journaling.
Finding a stylish personality in the pages of your journal – You!
In Wardrobe Journaling you are taken through a process, step by step, which will slowly reveal yourself to you.
You are given exercises that give you language for self confidence.
You are given exercises that develop encouraging and positive self thoughts.
Do you know how to go all in on yourself and create yourself?
It’s an exciting adventure.
You’re going to find yourself.
And you’re going to love what you find.
See you on that best dressed list!
For more information on Wardrobe Journaling check out the Wardrobe Journaling page here.
If you’d like to know more about Wardrobe Journaling and how the process works, then why not dip a toe in before deciding whether you’d like to join the course. Click on dip your toe in to get our trial email series for free.
If you’d like to sign up for the waiting list to join Wardrobe Journaling when it next opens click here.
If you’d like to read more on journaling to improve your style then go to:
Don’t recognise yourself in the mirror? How to adapt your style at any and every age
Self discovery journal prompts to create your unique style
* Well yes it is, but we can teach it to you!