How to stop negative self talk with journaling

How journaling stops negative self talk

Negative self talk acts like ‘scripts’ in our brain that we run through repeatedly. It’s a bit like rehearsing for a play: You have your script and you go over it again and again, learning the lines, assuming the character, working out how to play the part. All the while your negative self talk embeds itself in your brain as the truth.

The problem is that these are negative scripts made up of thoughts and they are not necessarily true. However you might think they are true because you’ve practiced them so many times that you have now assumed the character portrayed in the script.

Negative self talk and patterns of behaviour

Negative self talk will keep you in a routine of patterns of behaviour that you may not like consciously. But unconsciously the power of the routine is greater than the power to change the routine. In other words, routine will override the desire to change. So, despite wanting to change you will find it hard to change because the habit that you have developed of running through the script is currently greater than the desire to think different thoughts, be a different person, develop a new personal style.

Negative self talk and what you wear

While you are carrying negative self talk around in your head, it manifests itself loud and clear in your life. For example it will show up:

In the way that you set and achieve goals – you might think you’re not capable or not as good as everyone else;
In the way that you think your life is working out – you might think that everyone else’s life is better than yours and that you don’t deserve a better life;
In your self care practices – you might think you don’t deserve to look after yourself emotionally and physically
in the clothes you wear, in how you get dressed each day and a desire to ‘hide’ from the world.

Do you know what I mean?

Let’s focus on negative self talk, clothes and appearance as that is what we are all about here at Wardrobe Journaling where we are focussed on helping you look and feel your best and also at our sister site, Working Frocks which is focussed on helping you develop your personal style.

Negative self talk will:

keep you wearing the same clothes each day even though you don’t really like what you are wearing;

make you accept the status quo even if it doesn’t suit you;

most importantly, negative scripts will make you hide from yourself

Negative self talk sounds like:

I’m too fat to get into this;

Why do I look so awful in this outfit;

I look awful today;

I can’t wear clothes like everybody else, I just don’t have the right body shape/hair/legs/DNA;

I wish I could wear clothes like “…………..” does;

I wish my [insert body part] were [longing, thinner, slimmer, smaller].

I think you know what I mean.

For many of us those negative thoughts are part of the negative script that runs in our brain on a daily basis.  We barely recognise that the script is running, but we experience the results of the negative script.

Putting on great clothes is only half of the solution

We all know the value of putting on clothes we love as a way to look and feel instantly better.

But putting on clothes that make us feel great is only half of the equation.

The other half is improving the thoughts we think about ourself, the negative self talk and the Oscar-worthy script about how we don’t deserve any better.

At Wardrobe Journaling we have discovered the power of journaling as a way to uncover our thoughts, address them and then be able to change them.

We would love you to try it for yourself, so read on for a little bit more information.

Here are some links to some of our blog posts on the subject of wardrobe journaling:

How to journal for: Can I wear two outfits for one month?

I don’t have a thing to wear! How to dress better when you don’t know how

How to adapt your style at a different age and welcome each new phase of life

Journaling for self care

Identifying our thoughts: one of the main benefits of journaling for self care.

A while ago I started writing about the benefits of journaling for self care, specifically around how we clothe ourselves and what we think about the clothes that we wear. This was the start of creating Wardrobe Journaling. Wardrobe journaling helps you identify your thoughts and uses a framework, specifically related to our clothing, to engage in a method of enquiry that leads us to our true thoughts. It’s a way of getting under our top level thoughts, and examining those underlying thoughts that constantly run like scripts in our minds.

Wardrobe Journaling’s 6-step process

The pages that I produced on Wardrobe Journaling became really popular and so out of that popularity I created the Wardrobe Journaling course which is a 6 step process to uncovering your thoughts about yourself and your self image, helping you to change your personal style. We use journaling practices that help you identify what you would really like to be wearing as well as what you really don’t want to be wearing but might be tolerating in your life. It’s a beautiful course and the journaling helps you learn to listen to yourself. In fact one of the major benefits of journaling for self care is how you learn to listen to yourself.

Wardrobe journaling is learning to listen to yourself

We overcome negative scripts and unhelpful patterns in our life by identifying them. I often say that

wardrobe journaling is learning to listen to yourself

This is where journaling is so clever. It’s such a gentle process, but the process itself is an enquiry into our thoughts: what we think and how we think. This is how we can address those negatives scripts and unhelpful patterns of dressing, what we wear, self care etc.

How wardrobe journaling overcomes negative self talk

The way that journaling overcomes negative self talk is that it takes your thoughts, gives you the time to examine them, and then decide whether you want to keep those thoughts, or replace them with something else, another thought.

In our Wardrobe Journaling course you follow a series of steps. Some of the steps are repeated each day. This repetition is great. It’s relaxing for the brain and allows you to relax and respond to the exercises in a more honest and revelatory way.

Some steps require you to find pictures of outfits that you do and don’t like and talk about why you feel the way you do.

Some exercises are a guided visualisation and take you through a process of imagining.

Being in a relaxed environment overcomes negative self talk. Finding images of outfits you like also overcomes negative self talk. Taking the time to follow a guided visualisation also overcomes negative self talk. They are all ways of restricting the neural pathways in your brain that keep you fixed in negative self talk. What you are doing when you are taking part in Wardrobe Journaling is rewriting the script in your brain.

How you will feel after wardrobe journaling

We hope you will feel amazing and like you can change the world after experiencing wardrobe journaling for yourself.

You will have a better understanding of yourself, who you are and who you want to be.

If that’s not enough you will also probably understand why you make the decisions that you make around your self image and your clothes.

And, in addition to that, with the framework that Wardrobe Journaling provides you will be able to leave some of your negative thoughts about yourself behind and concentrate on the thoughts that you want to have about yourself.

This will give you greater power to change yourself. From within. Which is where all change starts.

So why not give it a go? It’s a small investment, and a small amount of your time, which will potentially reap rewards in your life that you never realised was possible.

If you are curious about how you can change your style, stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself and show up each day looking and feeling like the authentic you, then Wardrobe Journaling is for you.

Find out more about the Wardrobe Journaling course and how it can help you: Wardrobe Journaling.

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